Jim’s Diary – 15th March 2026

It is two days and 50 years since the transmission of the TV show new faces….. I WON IT!

USTREME is filming a 50 years tribute show at a nice little hotel at Hampton Court. The
filming starts tomorrow night at 7:30pm, on the day that Natasha and I were to be wed at
Hampton Court Palace. Don’t blame me she called it off. I think it was all a bit too soon
plus I got pissed after the gig in Southend I think that’s what did it. The evening celebration
will be based around the American trend of roasting a celebrity. There will be speeches by
Lee Anderson, Nigel Farage, Jimmy Jones, Mike Osman, Francine Lewis and of course
Bobby Davro. Am I looking forward to it? No there is so much to do to make this film
the way I want it to be. It will be shown on Ustreme in a couple of weeks time.

I’m glad the sun’s decided to show its face, I was getting really miserable and everything
seemed to be going wrong. My friend Dave said to me if it wasn’t for bad luck you’d have
no luck at all. And he is correct.

We have been trying to get the boat from Southampton to Plymouth for her refit. The
weather has prevented that so while she was alongside in Southampton I got the engines
serviced and the slight repair on the generator. How much?… Too much….
I then got a lifted out the water and her bottom scraped ready for the trip
when there was the weather window shown from Plymouth picked up the boat and started
the long journey back. She’d only gone half a mile when the port engine decided to go into
safe mode, Something was up. Back in port we discovered that the port turbo had packed
up. A new one was found a week later and fitted. Yesterday I went down to try the boat
out to see if the new turbo was working, only to find there was no oil pressure in the
starboard engine, someone bumped into something and pulled the plug out I am sure,
I’m waiting to hear, to say i’m furious is an understatement. The problem is it’s going to
take a month in Plymouth to do the upgrade…… and summer is approaching fast.

Well this rotten winter has brought some illness as well. First of all I had that terrible flu
And just before my gig at Dartford I had both ends burning on the loot all night. I was the
same when I was doing the gig although both ends were now well blocked up with
various drugs. I took the virus to Spain with me, No I was quite ill there and then
Natasha got quite ill as well……That Novo virus if in fact it was that, really wipes one out.

OK…. The tour is very busy with everywhere selling out. The audiences are loving it. I
think they like me to say what they are thinking. The pantomime is selling well, But we
are a way to go to break even. The problem is it is only on for one week, If it was on for
10 weeks it would be strangely cheaper. As the pre production costs, the rehearsals, the costumes and set and of course the advertising would be amortised over a 10 week period.
Which basically means you have 10 weeks to get back the money you have spent before you
have taken a penny at the box office. This show gives us one week to get all of that pre
production cost back.

I’m pleased that the brilliant actor John Altman has joined the cast as king rat, and actress
Debbie Arnold joins us as fairy godmother.

This will make you laugh…..
I ordered some props from Amazon and they turned up yesterday. Natasha opened the
first parcel and it was a 10 inch black cock. She thought it was for her…

So I hope you are poised to enjoy the spring and fingers crossed for lady Natasha so I can
get it to Plymouth for her upgrade.

See you all round the campfire somewhere