Jim’s Diary – April
Dear diary It is the end of April
I think my body has a direct link to my diary, It seems to look in my calendar, find out when I’m going away or relaxing, and then plans to be ill during that time
My last trip away was to Palmer in Majorca. And two nights before we were due to leave, my stomach and my bum teamed up, and drew their plans against me.
Both ends were burning. The great Jimmy Jones once described why this happens….” When you are being sick and there’s no more sick to do, you build up so much pressure that you’re arse acts as a release valve, otherwise your eyeballs will fly out and kill the cat.
I managed to get through in Dartford but then came the rush to get to Gatwick to spend the night in a hotel before the rest of my body decided to rid itself of everything remotely like liquid.
We got to the hotel at midnight and had five hours sleep, well, Natasha had five hours sleep I had four hours sleep the other hour was spent on the loo.
We got up the next day and set off to find our car that had been parked by valet parking.
I then realised I did not have my passport… I must have left it at home.
My friend Dave Franks was accompanying us, so I told him and the Tasha to carry on to the flight and I’d meet them there on a later flight having gone home and got my passport.
Dave and Natasha when into the terminal. I then called her and said, you have my keys to the house. We plan to meet halfway down the travel later to the terminal. When we met she gave me the keys and said I have a feeling that your passport is inside the car in the central reservation.
I ran back to the valet parking and asked if they could go and get my car. They said this would take at least an hour and a half, by then the plane would have gone with my beloved on board, and Natasha!!!
The nice woman said I’ll go to your car I’ll get your passport and bring it back. I didn’t place much hope in that but back she came with my little passport in her hand. I then ran to meet David and Natasha inside the terminal all the while clenching my arms together to stop any seepage. We made the flight. For the next two days in Palma I was ill and miserable . As soon as I got better and attention got ill and then to sleep on the bathroom floor.
What next?
I have been working very hard and piling up the miles in my car. This tour has been fantastic but it is demanding, An example being getting a flight from Heathrow to Glasgow. Getting the cab from the airport to the unspeakable hotel in Glasgow called the address (don’t go). I did the show I met up with my old friend Clark Stewart a brilliant Scottish singer and good friend. we had a few drinks and I ended up in bed at midnight.
Up at 6:00 and I walked to Glasgow central railway station where I boarded a train to Preston. I had to get to Blackpool to meet Chris Davis my Co producer of Big Dick Whittington, Who was travelling up from Devon to meet me at UK productions costume warehouse..
I got off the train in Preston I’m bumped straight into Chris where a poem we got the train to Blackpool. We sorted out the costumes and went for some fish and chips in Blackpool town centre. I was pleased to see that nothing has changed in Blackpool it is still a shithole
we then got some tiny little train from a funny little train station and went to Preston where we boarded our separate trains to get home. My train was supposed to take me to Manchester Airport but it broke down at Manchester Piccadilly. Manchester Piccadilly looked like a war station or something from the Indian national railways. I decided to leave the station and get a taxi, my plane was at 7:45…
After battling through the rush hour and being spoken to by a taxi driver that couldn’t speak English I arrived at the airport. I Had a bite to eat in the lounge and then got on the plane and arrived home absolutely knackered.
The next day was up at sparrows fart and make my way to the studios.
Work work work work work work work
and then Natasha and I plan to spend 4 days in our beloved Paris…. Of course 2 days before we left I felt a sore throat followed by a blocked up nose. I had a good old fashioned council house cold. The last thing I had to do before we left for Paris was three shows in two days in Evesham. After the first show on the Saturday I drove the two hour journey home. Returning to Evesham the next afternoon to do a 5:00 show and a 730 show.
At the end of the second show I had hardly any voice left and drove the two hours back home when the Tasha Joined me at 8:00 the next morning and we set off for Paris with me sounding like a frog…….. Paris, just the place for a frog.
As I am typing this I still feel blocked up and knackered. Tash she’s drawing a hair and when that is complete we will set off for the Louvre. Dinner tonight at the George V an early night fly back. Then I must drive straight to the studios to record this week….
Thank heavens I have Friday off…
I hope you all enjoyed my 50th anniversary show on Ustreme.